Ten Ways Living Through the Pandemic is Like Having a New Baby

Man with small child on his shoulders
Ah, the days when help from
the grandparents was a
plane ride away.

There’s a current article in The New York Times that recommends the mental stamina of athletes to running the gauntlet of the current pandemic.

The truth is that living through the pandemic is a lot like having a new baby. It’s a different kind of marathon and one without grandparents just a plane ride away.

I realized this when, for the first time since my childbearing years, everybody around me was welcoming babies and I found myself writing a lot of welcome-baby cards. I racked my brain for advice when I realized this year’s crop of new parents are already prepared! They nest. They bake. They do endless loads of laundry. That’s all some of us have done for nine months. 

So, parents-to-be, here are ten other ways your life will feel weirdly the same after your baby arrives:

  1. Still stocked up on flour, canned beans, and toilet paper? Perfect, since going to the store already makes you nervous. The only difference is the diaper bag the size of carry-on luggage that you’ll be carrying with you. For the next two years.
  2. You’ll be right at home in those chic sweat pants you’ve been wearing since March. Don’t throw those out yet!
  3. Sure, go ahead and tell yourself you’ll do yoga and journal every morning. Remember when you said you’d do that during the pandemic? How’d that turn out for you?
  4. When you are ready to make your first foray to the store, it will feel like a whole new universe. It’s not. You just swapped the toilet paper aisle for the diaper aisle.
  5. You’ll get lots of rest for awhile. (Bonus!) Just not at night.
  6. But at least you won’t be obsessively taking your temperature because of that tickle in your throat! In fact, please get a second thermometer. You’ll find out why.
  7. Forget that novel you were working on. In fact, forget any creative venture you initially thought you’d have “so much more time for…”.  (A hint: don’t reschedule those activities for about six more years. Maybe eight.) 
  8. There will still be lots of hand washing. I did mention diapers, right?
  9. The zombie shows you watched before the pandemic have moved on to new seasons without you. No matter. You’ve discovered new, positive, non-snarky choices, like The Great British Baking Show, and fun, televised dog grooming competitions.  Who wants to watch downer shows during the pandemic anyway?
  10.  In a strange twist of fate, the word “confinement” which you thought was such a cool French word for stay-at-home orders actually means staying home with a baby! Can you believe that!? It’s almost like you’re Emily in Paris!

Best wishes, new Moms and new Dads. You’ll do great because, look, you’re practically there already.

Oregon, Oregon

Passages on the Oregon Coast

I followed the soft, sandy path through a tunnel of bushes, thankful for shelter from the off-shore breeze. My homemade mask warmed my lips and nose. The crash of waves drowned out my footsteps. The path ahead led out of sight, but wherever it was going, I was deeply grateful to be upright, outside and in nature.

Looking for light at the end of the tunnel? Follow a path on the Oregon coast.

The same way I remember the alarm of 9/11, I’m going to remember this past March. The rising toll of the dying, the rapid shutdowns – schools, my parents’ senior residence, the entire country of Italy- plus, the sudden cancellations of conferences, travel, events, visitors, weddings – where was this going? Then one morning, while one daughter was being evacuated by the Peace Corps from Africa, and another daughter was cancelling her move to France, my manager told me to pack up my laptop and go home. For now.

“Now” lasted longer than we thought. Five months later, Oregon is slowly re-opening and hotels and restaurants are cautiously welcoming visitors back. After months of heartbreaking reports of loss and the isolation of telecommuting, I needed to get out. See something new. I needed the benign embrace of nature – forests, ocean, wildlife – to remind me of the world’s beauty and give me hope again.

With that in mind, my husband and I picked places we could safely visit nearby. We live within a few hours of dozens of state parks and wildlife refuges. There had to be some that were open and in Phase 2 counties. It would still be a gamble to find food, cell service and bathrooms, so we brought what we needed: maps of each county, a packed cooler and picnic gear, lots of water, Kleenex, extra masks, and the now ubiquitous hand sanitizer. With a loose itinerary in hand, we took off.

Our first stop was Jewell Meadows National Wildlife Area where tree swallows swooped and soared over the meadows. No Roosevelt elk in sight but I heard later that you can sign up to go on hay rides to feed the wildlife.

In Astoria, I was excited to finally learn more about the famous Corps of Discovery, the explorers headed by Lewis and Clark who set off in 1804 to find a navigable route to the Pacific Ocean. The Lewis and Clark National Historical Park includes the fort they built to winter over in. The museum was closed – as were other park museums we went to – but living history volunteers recounted hairaising tales outside by the fort.  As with entry to any museum, wearing a mask was required.

From here, we drove to the Clatsop Spit, a sliver of beach formed by receding glaciers 8500 years ago. Next time I’m going to stop at the viewing platform to catch a glimpse of the roiling waters of the Columbia River bar, where the Columbia crashes into the Pacific. 

We ate the best fish and chips ever at Hurricane Ron’s (1335 Marine Drive, Astoria), in an isolated table by the open crab tank then drove up the hill to watch the sunset from the Astoria Column.  (Restrooms open, but the Column itself is closed for now.)

Day two, we strolled along beautiful Cannon Beach, then went to Cape Meares which was closed. On the map, my husband spotted a spit of land that stuck out into the bay. We crossed some grassy dunes, nearly collided with an actual Roosevelt elk, and found a hidden beach full of – I’m guessing – locals. That night we stayed at the Looking Glass Inn and ate a delicious, dinner in Depoe Bay at Tidal Raves.

Day three started with a birding stroll at Siletz Bay Natinal Wildlife Refuge. Summer isn’t the best time for birding in riparian areas, but we enjoyed the walk.

We picnicked in Gleneden at a community park overlooking the sea, then headed to Yachats, where we stayed and ate dinner at the Adobe Inn. Again, tables were far apart and diners were scarce. Super friendly staff and a stellar spot on the ocean. 

Day four and five in Yachats, we explored Cape Perpetua – Thor’s Well, the Devil’s Churn – plus, an achingly beautiful Western Hemlock forest of 150-200 year old trees. We also admired the Hecata Head lighthouse, and watched sandpipers fishing for lunch in the tide pools. If you go, don’t miss the gorgeous view at Cape Perpetua’s hilltop lookout. All our activities were outside and people wore masks pretty much everywhere.

Lastly, on our way home, we stopped at two lovely spots –both nearly empty of people: Fern Ridge Lake, and William L. Finley National Wildlife Refuge.

Before the final hike of our vacation, we encountered a couple with a baby and a trucker changing out the portable restroom. That was it. Then we strapped on our binoculars and and followed the path.

If you go…click here for updated coronavirus information on counties in Oregon.

Oregon, Read This Book

Out of School, but Not Out of Stories: Reading Resources for Kids at Home

Reading daily to children builds skills that lead to literacy.

Reading a book to my small daughters was part of their naptime ritual. They chose two picture books, but I usually mumbled my way through the second story with one eye closed. “Mama!” Eliza would elbow me. “You’re not done!” 

This was before the words COVID or pandemic ever entered our household vocabulary. 

Today, with schools and libraries closed and summer stretching before us, parents and caregivers can help children practice their reading every day at home: 

  • Shauna Tominey, an assistant professor at Oregon State University’s College of Public Health and Human Sciences and a parenting education specialist, lists these resources and tips for parents at home with children now.
  • The Ford Family Foundation provides books at no charge to residents of Oregon and Siskiyou County, Calif. Sign up, choose a book, and review the book you choose after you receive it. Extra kudos to this generous foundation for providing instructions in English and Spanish.
  • SMART READING in Oregon normally matches volunteer reader with kindergartners and first graders in school to read a book together weekly. For right now, they’ve provided this update with reading and literacy links.  
  • Little Free Libraries are taking pains to provide books – and even food and masks! – that are free and sanitized. Check out this video and find a library near you that’s open 24/7.

On Writing

Vision Boards: Envision Your 2020 Goals

Every few years I gather with friends before January 1 to envision the year by creating a “vision board.” The resulting collage can be a surprising picture of the unconscious motives behind our goals.

On New Year’s Eve day, five of us sat around our dining room table with a stack of New York Times newspapers, random magazines, gluesticks, scissors, and blank poster board. The house was quiet, save for a Spotify playlist of café favorites. Just days before, my stepdaughter’s children’s laughter rang through the house. I could still see them sitting at this same table with napkins tucked under their chins.

I flipped through magazines, thinking vaguely about my 2019 goals: the unfinished ones – an interrupted blog and my middle grade characters stuck in Purgatory in Act II – and the finished ones – a novel submission, a new job, deeper friendships, a garden planted, and a daughter launched from college to Africa. My 2020 To Do List included returning to the blog, and getting those characters out of Purgatory and into an agent’s in-box.

As I skimmed newspapers, headlines jumped out at me. SO MUCH IS COMPETING FOR A CHILD’S ATTENTION. No kidding. Clip, clip, clip. Was this about my desire to put books in the hands of children, or the memory of my seven-year-old grandson playing Mario Cart?  

Turning another page, I saw a young woman with arms reaching out as she released a bird in the air. One night that week by a warm fire, my daughter and I had talked about reaching for our goals. How could we support each other’s efforts? The outstretched arms reminded me of our conversation. Clip, clip, clip. Was this a vision of me reaching for my goals? Or supporting my daughter? Did it matter?

If you follow a strict interpretation of vision boards, yeah, it kinda matters. Vision boards became popular through a book and a film called The Secret which espoused the idea that “like attracts like.” According to this Law of Attraction, envisioning what you want can attract your goal to you. A new car, a different house, a slimmer waistline, more money – if you focus on your vision and believe it already exists as a reality somewhere, the real goal will manifest in your life. You send the message to the Universe and the Universe hits reply. Easy peasy

I don’t want to diss the Universe but this lacks a crucial element: action. I’m all for believing in my goals, and Lord knows I need to bring more focused attention to them, but that’s not the same as taking tangible steps. Like what St. Ignatious of Loyola had in mind: Pray as if everything depends on God; work as if everything depends on you. You’ve got to do the actual work. 

In the end, I liked how my board turned out. It had way more to do with conscious or unconscious thoughts of my children or children in general than with my goals. It was like sending my goals to a playground with cousin Imagination in hand. What a wild ride that can be. 

To make your own vision board, you need: poster board or some stiff paper, some newspapers and a magazine or two, scissors, a glue stick, and colored pens. Also, don’t spend an entire day doing this. Save a little time for actually writing.


Kidlit Illustrators, Italian-style

Want a fresh take on children’s book Illustration? You’ll will love the current exhibit at Portland Art Museum – “Italian Excellence” – featuring art created for books by Gianni Rodari. Rodari, whose 99th birthday would be today, was Italy’s most beloved children’s author. Though few of his books are available in English, the artwork speaks for the exuberance and imagination of his tales.

Art by Simona Mulazzani, for The Blue Arrow (2000)

This exhibit runs through November 10 and coincides with the Portland Book Festival on November 9.

Vittoria Facchini, for One and Seven (2004)
On Writing, Poetry, Read This Book

On Writing: Ten Books that Fuel Writing

Some of the books that have helped me with my writing.

After two weeks of not writing, I was stuck.  Frozen. My draft of a middle grade novel felt as remote as actual middle school. For a week, my hands were too busy gripping a steering wheel or a map for 3,000 miles as I drove with my daughter back from college. But then a second week of not writing followed for less concrete reasons and the creative juices of flow cooled to slow-moving mud.

My cousin Kathy rescued me with a writing prompt that was meant as a conversation starter. Around the 2000th mile of my trip, she met us for lunch and generously gave us a goody bag of Lara Bars for the trip. A small notecard poked out of the bag. “That’s just for a fun. It’s a college essay question. See if you can answer it,” she said. The card said, simply, “Describe your top ten.” Already missing my daily writing routine, I knew writing and books would have something to do with the answer.

A thousand miles later, my daughter and I arrived home. The end of summer presented its own To Do list: host the Labor Day BBQ, help a grape harvest intern get settled, have dinner with a teacher friend before school started, see my nephew and his girlfriend before they moved back to Wisconsin, and help my daughter pack for a long trip. The excuses for not writing grew and grew.

At some point my laptop probably sent up a flare but I wasn’t quite ready to be found yet. Finally, when the the immediacy of my middle grade characters were fading from memory and I’d skipped two weekly blog posts, I stopped dithering, gathered up some of my favorite books on writing and opened them, one by one. Help me, I implored them. I need to get going again. And they answered.

Here’s a sample of what ten of my top books on writing, creativity and self-improvement had to say:

1. Poet Denise Levertov reminded me that I was in process. In her book the poet in the world, she nailed it: “….Then there’s that period of irritable brewing, sometimes – knowing there’s something pending, getting clues, flashes, losing it again….” She was right. I was still woolgathering. 

2. In the 1990 classic Wild Mind: Living the Writer’s Life, Nathalie Goldberg quoted writing teacher Kate Green: “If you want to write, you have to be willing to be disturbed.” She didn’t mean by people – she meant by your demons, your memories, your preoccupations, but I got the picture. “Be willing to split open,” she said. 

3. Then I turned to R. J. Palacio‘s wonderful book of quotations, 365 Days of Wonder.  The book opened at September 2nd with a quote from Horace, “Begin, be bold, and venture to be wise.” The balance of courage and reflection sounded just right. 

4. In The Crossroads of Should and Must: Find and Follow Your Passionauthor and artist Elle Luna reminded me why I bothered to care about my writing at all: “It is a constant effort and hard work…to honor who you are, what you believe, and why you are here. To choose Must is the greatest thing you can do with your life because this congruent, rooted way of living shines through everythingthat you do.” 

5. Daniel Goleman, in Focus: The Hidden Driver of Excellence reminded me that its not enough to simply write for 10,000 hours to achieve my goal; I have to improve as I go and focus on the deliberate practice of the craft.  Remembering this time and again makes me turn writing into deliberate practice, with a goal in mind.

6.  …And yet I need to write faster – before the story grows stale. In On Writing: A Memoir of the CraftStephen King says, “…the first draft of a book – even a long one – should take no more than three months, the length of a season. Any longer and – for me, at least – the story begins to take on an odd foreign feel, like a dispatch from the Romanian Department of Public Affairs, or something broadcast on high-band shortwave….” I already felt a chilly distance from my work in progress. It reminded me of my critique partner Hillary Homzie’s advice: write as fast as you can, and don’t stop! 

7. Opening up Author in Progress, Barbara O’Neal‘s chapter “Write Like You Mean It” agreed with the idea of drafting quickly: “…Do not use the Internet. Do not check e-mail. Do not search for a fact that you think you need…Writers have argued with me over this ­– but the bottom line is, if you break, you end the trance.”

8. Anne Lamott came to the rescue with humor and wisdom. In the classic writing book Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life, she says: “Try looking at your mind as a wayward puppy that you are trying to paper train. You don’t drop-kick a puppy into the neighbor’s yard every time it piddles on the floor. You just keep bringing it back to the newspaper.” 

9. Elizabeth Gilbert provided me with a new mantra, in Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear: “So try saying this: ‘I enjoy my creativity.’ And when you say it, be sure to actually mean it.” 

At this point last night, it was midnight and there were ten open books splayed across two desks. It was time to get back to work on drafting my novel whether I felt ready or not. (I enjoy my creativity! I enjoy my creativity!) I opened one last book.

10. …and read Joan Didion’s essay, “On Keeping a Notebook.” I found it reprinted in The Making of a Storyby Alice LaPlante. Joan says, “…I think we are all well advised to keep on nodding terms with the people we used to be, whether we find them attractive company or not…We forget all too soon the things we thought we could never forget.”

Her words reminded me that if the Reluctant Me didn’t get moving, the Writerly Me would rise up and clobber us both at some time. What a shame that would be when I learn from them both.

  • Bibliography:
  • Levertov, Denise. the poet in the world. New York: New Directions, 1973. 
  • Goldberg, Natalie. Wild Mind: Living the Writer’s Life.New York: Bantam New Age, 1990.
  • Palacio, R.J. 365 Days of Wonder. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 2014.
  • Luna, Elle. The Crossroads of Should and Must: Find and Follow Your Passion.New York: Workman Publishing, 2015.
  • Goleman, Daniel. Focus: The Hidden Driver of Excellence. New York: Harper, 2013.
  • King, Stephen.On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft. New York: Scribner, 2000.
  • O’Neal, Barbara“Write Like You Mean It.” In Author in Progress, edited by Therese Walsh and the authors of Writer Unboxed.  
  • Lamott, Anne.Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life. New York and San Francisco: Pantheon Books, 1994.
  • Gilbert, Elizabeth. Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear. New York: Riverhead Books, 2015.
  • Didion, Joan. “On Keeping a Notebook.” In Slouching Toward Bethlehem. New York: Farrar, Straus & Giroux, 1961. I read the essay in Alice LaPlante’s The Making of a Story. New York: W.W. Norton & Company, 2007.
On Writing

On Writing: The Idea Cloud

Pick a thread from the Idea Cloud hanging over you. (Malheur National Wildlife Refuge, Oregon)

Every once in a while, two movies come out at the same time with same theme. Or multiple books suddenly have “thief” in the title. (There are 161 titles in Goodread’s Best Thief Book category!) Why does this happen? I blame it on the Idea Cloud.

Sometimes, the explanation is simple. Similar films released close together is a phenomenon with it’s own Wikipedia page. But what about novels? Novels are usually unique stories written in isolation. Normally, a story emerges from one brain before it reaches the gristmill of publishing. So why would a writer see her own unique concept crop up in somebody else’s book?

It has to do with how stories arise in the writer’s brain. That’s where the Idea Cloud comes in.

Idea Clouds spreading overhead. (Northwestern Minnesota)

Here’s how it works:

Let’s use the thief example. You’re listening to the news on your way home from work. The newscaster announces that a monkey is missing from the town zoo and evidence suggests someone stole it. Huh, you think. A monkey thief. Not a bad idea for a story. Then you remember the 161 thief books on Goodreads. You’re going to need more than thievery to make a fresh story.

Still driving, you recall a rash of missing dogs reported last year. Missing dogs, missing monkeys. Huh, again. Now the old story has a fresh twist. That’s promising. Your writerly brain turns the two ideas over like a Rubik’s Cube, seeing how the pieces might fit together.

Then you get home. You step out of your car, or off the train, or down from the bus and you listen. Do you hear the firing shot? All the other writers who heard the same news story as you are now sitting down to their laptops. The race is on. Are you going to join them?

This is the moment you begin to tug on the Idea Cloud, that fluffy cumulous-shaped mass of ideas floating over head. You reach up and pull down the missing monkey thread. Now the missing dog thread. The Idea Cloud’s positive charge will speedily lock onto any emotionally-charged memory you have about dogs, monkeys, and missing animals in general. All those memories hidden under the couch cushions of your amygdala will rise up, supercharged, and ZING! Lightning will strike.

Lightning must’ve been in this tropical Idea Cloud hanging over my car. (Boca Raton, Florida)

Suddenly, in rapid succession, you will remember: your favorite dog when you were ten years old; your little brother’s remorse over leaving the garden gate open; the neighborhood search for said dog; and the knock on the door from a motorist with bad news. You will feel the old sorrow of learning that your dog is dead, and wish you’d never listened to the news that day driving home.

But wait! You are now a superhero middle grade writer! You can rewrite history and transform your old sadness. You can finally give your dog the resting place he deserves in your heart. You can write a good story that kids will love.

You begin to ask What If questions. What if the monkey and dogs in your story are in cahoots? What if they have a good reason for disappearing? What if the lead dog has your old dog’s name? What if the dogs steal the monkey from the zoo to help them spring their canine friends from a kill shelter?

Eureka! You’re ready to draft your next middle grade story.

The sun breaks through the Idea Cloud. (Willamette Valley, Oregon)

Then, one of your critique group friends informs you that another middle grade writer just sold that story to HarperCollins in a five figure deal.

Whaaa…? You were just getting started!

But, hold on a sec. It’s not exactly the same. The author pulled the same two threads down from the Idea Cloud, asked the same What If questions and finished her version first but her monkey doesn’t pick locks and there’s no kill shelter. You swallow your pride. You change the location of your story from Cleveland to India, where you lived as a child. Now your story is not the same as hers, and, anyway, there’s room in a bookstore for two books on animals saving a corner of the world.

Has this ever happened to you? What did you do when you found out “your” story was already out there in the world?

If so, you may steal the dog/monkey story. I just made it up. Somebody else might’ve written it first, you never know. Google it and then write like heck to be first to finish it. Set it in India. Or Guam. There aren’t enough children’s books about Guam. Good luck!

P.S. This particular Idea Cloud idea is mine, however. But feel free to share this post with other writers like us.

Read This Book

Books I Recommend: Underland, by Robert Macfarlane

The cover of Underland is from the painting “Nether.” While it appears to be roots dangling over a cave entrance, it was meant by the painter to be the last thing you’d see after a nuclear explosion. (Stanley Donwood)

Okay, I cheated. 

As soon as I bought this 488-page book, I flipped to Chapter Five: Invisible Cities. The “cities” referred to Paris and its underground counterpart, 200 miles of quarry voids and catacombs, where cataphiles– lovers of the catacombs – secretly and illegally wander, travel and party.

I needed Robert MacFarlane’s first-hand account of his foray for a story I am drafting. Then, at the end of Chapter Five, I turned back to page one and devoured the rest of this gorgeous book. 

In Underland: A Deep Time Journey, MacFarlane provides a perspective on the world beneath our feet by traveling to eleven places on the planet where the Earth yields, shelters or hides something. In nearly all instances, he is accompanied by a friend, an expert or a guide, his own mythological Charon ferrying him to the underworld. 

The narrative is rich with references from mythology, history, literature, geology, and the world of nature. (Macfarlane also cowrote an award-winning children’s book called Lost Words, with descriptions of terms used in nature.) Throughout Underland, he explores the significance of each location while simultaneously describing his real life adventure in it . Often, his exploits contain moments of gripping fear, amazement, sadness, or ecstatic discovery. At one point under Paris, he turns his skull sideways to squeeze through an impossibly narrow passage when a Metro train roars overhead. On a remote northern archipelago in Norway, he backpacks through hail, sleet, rain, hail again, and up five sharp peaks to a sea cave high on a cliff where dwellers 2000-3000 years ago left their mark on the walls, and mysterious red dancers have been sighted.

Reading Underland was a feast on so many levels: for its exacting botanical and geological description framed in a generous, tender and literary point of view; for its eyewitness account of places with historical and planetary significance; for its radical inquiry into “deep time,” a time before history and a time when we, my friends, will be long, long gone. I will likely never experience the chilling reality of the last place he visited but I’m glad I had a Charon like Macfarlane to ferry me there – and back again.

Extra bits:

  • If I were going to read this book with a glass of wine by my side, I’d suggest this one: ShoneTal Cellars Meredith Mitchell Vineyard 2016 Pinot Noir. I know this is a really weird suggestion, but here me out: like the “deep time” theme of this book, this is one of few wines that are “own-rooted” meaning they aren’t grafted onto rootstock, like most grapevines in the US and Europe. Plus, the vineyard is located on ancient volcano soil in Oregon’s Willamette Valley. That’s what I call “deep time” wine.

On Writing

On Writing: Finding the Silver Lining in Querying

It’s tough but not impossible to find a bright spot in the submissions process. (Yosemite National Park, CA)

When I queried literary agents about my manuscript, the results were mixed but rejection came with a silver lining. It led to a choice that, in the end, will make my story stronger.

My young adult (or YA) story had followed a tortuous path: written, workshopped, revised, reimagined and rewritten all over again. Feedback from my critique group, beta readers, and a bestselling mentor strengthened character arcs and plot points. (Mentor: what happens in Act III? Me: She realizes she had it all wrong, and starts over. Mentor: No, I mean, what actually happens-happens?)

When I judged the manuscript to be submission-ready, I wrote a pitch and multiple drafts of a query letter to arrive at a boilerplate that could be personalized for each agent. 

Then came submersion in Agent Land. Goal: to create a curated list of agents seeking YA stories with my story elements. I read a few months of #MSWL on Twitter and online to discover what agents were currently seeking. Then skimmed conference notes for all the agents I’d already met and heard speak so I could mention it if I queried them. In the Bay Area, a group of YA writers get together for breakfast every other month. As we went around the circle, I asked each one about their agents, past and present. Finally, I compiled lists on Agent Query and Query Tracker online.

The list grew to 34 names. (This is shortish. I just read a tweet from an author who was rejected 40 times before signing with an agent.) I picked eight to start, rechecked their status on their agency website, noted submission instructions for each, and read their recent tweets. Then hit Send. 

Whenever I #amsubmitting, I’m jettisoned back to first grade, jostling in line with other squirmy kids, hoping Teacher notices how smart and well-behaved I am, while feeling a little out of my depth with playground etiquette and spending all my time on the swings. I mean, nobody wants a tether ball in the face.

The results of my first round of submissions were mixed: two no-responses, two form rejections, three personal responses. At this point, I had been submitting for months, distracted by life events and travel. Summer turned to fall to winter. We flew to France for the holidays. I submitted another agent from my sister-in-law’s dining room table sprinkled with tiny gold stars.

Then it happened: the agent asked for a full. Clouds parted. She wanted to see the whole manuscript. Gulp.

I uploaded the document. She followed me on Twitter. Christmas came. We drank mulled wine at the Marche de Noel and shopped for boudin blanc.  Another email: she loved the voice, but couldn’t use the story. What else did I have? I had a middle grade story that had been optioned for television but never published. It wasn’t really her genre, but I sent it.

A couple days went by. At this point, we were winding up our trip with visits to cousins.  We ate, drank, walked by the sea, visited a 17thcentury fort. Skies were grey. It rained. We played a hilarious version of French Trivial Pursuit. Became addicted to a card game called Belote. The sun finally came out. Fluffy clouds sailed across the sky. And the agent wrote again.

This time, she explained in a long letter what she liked about my writing, what elements in the story worked for her and what didn’t. She encouraged me to keep going. “You’re so close to your breakout novel!” But no, she wasn’t offering representation at this time.

Editorial letters like this are a generous gesture on the part of a professional. As Mary Kole, of, suggests in Manuscript Submission Blueprint, writers should pay attention to advice from professionals. Unless they ask for a revision, you only get one chance to interest them in a project.

Now I had a quandary: I could ignore her advice and keep submitting. Or consider it and revise. Or self-publish. Or drop the project and work on something else. Putting it aside felt like giving up, and, man, those two words are pure motivation for me to charge forward. (More on that another time.) The agent agreed to see it again after I revised. I decided to pay a professional editor to read my manuscript and recommend ways to improve the story. Even at $2.50 a page for 337 pages, the cost was 75-80% of attending a big writing conference and the results would be help me finish this project.

In the end, the process provided me with a few epiphanies, and the knowledge and connections I needed to move forward. It doesn’t take the sting out of rejection, but that’s part of the process. You’ve got to move through it to get what you want. What I want is to tell and sell a really good story.

A couple side notes: 

  • Mary Kole’s online tool Manuscript Submission Blueprintincludes Feedback Aggregator and Checklist for Regrouping worksheets. 
  • Did you know kids naturally gravitate to either swings, slide, monkey bars or sandbox, according to their nature. I picked swings. What’d you pick? Why?
On Writing

On Writing: When Company Comes to Call

When getting your work done means hiding away for an hour an day. (Oregon Gardens, 2019)

As I anticipate a full house this week, I’m wondering how to squirrel away an hour a day to write. How do I break the habit of taking care of everyone who crosses my threshold and putting my own needs on hold while they’re here? Instead of blocking out time to write, I’m usually cooking, rifling through recipes to feed a crowd, pouring coffee, picking up the house, and, wait, did I mention cooking? No wonder my grocery list includes items like GIN! and LIMES! 

Old habits die hard – and that includes the need to write. When I worked fulltime and revised a YA, I rose at 5 am to write. When we took a family vacation, I slipped out while everyone slept and used the business room in the hotel lobby. I found cafes, local libraries, kitchen tables, and front porches in the quiet of morning. I had to jump on the chance to get a character out of a tough spot, to advance a plot, to read a critique – even when there was no paycheck involved and the story may never meet an actual editor. 

Why? Likely, my company will wonder. Why does it matter? Why do I still need to be alone when company comes to call?

1 – Because it’s work, even when I don’t get paid for it.

2 – Because of “flow,” as it is called by the psychologist Mihály Csíkszentmihályi.  Flow is the experience, to paraphrase Csíkszentmihályi, of being so involved in creating something new in the world that you forget time, forget to eat, and sometimes (as my youngest just reminded me) even forget to pick up your child at school. I call it the Deep Space Nine of my work, allowing myself to shut out the world and go deeply into my own imagination to create something new.

3 – Because if I do not make incremental, “Deep Space Nine” progress on my chapter/plot/poem/painting, my efforts to restart everything after one week off will be like starting a freight train. My writing mentor, Veronica Rossi, called it trying to get a 747 off the ground. She is right. 

4 – And because I need to get my writing project DONE. If I want to submit to agents by November, I will want to finish the first draft of your book in time to have beta-readers read a copy, then do the inevitable changes, then write a query and a synopsis, research agents who like the kind of story I wrote, and submit it. In other words, I need to be done with my current writing project tomorrow.